January222014

January 22nd

Today I tried writing a Graffiti article and failed miserably. I started writing it about 3 times and every time I ended up deleting the entire thing and starting over until I just gave up. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m in enriched English and I have a 90 at least but when it comes to just putting ideas to paper (or microsoft word) I just have so much trouble with it. Sometimes I feel like I’m really stupid because I can’t seem to express my everyday thoughts like a normal person. Nothing I say ever come out right, and I can never say or write anything remotely intelligent or thought-provoking.

It really sucks because when I talk to people a lot of times they think I’m dumb because that’s just how I sound. When I try to do public speaking without a script it always ends in disaster because I can’t think and speak at the same time. I kinda sorta want to become a lawyer when I grow up. How the fuck am I supposed to do that if I can’t even speak a proper sentence without thinking it through first?

UGH.

I think the way that teenagers talk and text has really negatively impacted me. I’m the kind of person that gets really easily influenced by their surroundings, and if the people around me never speak proper English and use phrases like “WHAT IS AIR” to describe most of their emotions they call “feels” then eventually I’m going to forget how to communicate normally. That’s what’s happening to me now, and it’s really terrifying because I actually LOVE to talk. 

Once upon a time I was good at it too.

I really hope this blog will help be recover from my communication problem. I’ve always loved to speak, now it’s time for me to say something worthwhile.

Kisses,

Jess

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